Alright so despite the fact that I swore I would never again have a personal blog, I broke down and signed up again. It might be because I’m bored and I’ve been sitting here with nothing to do. It might be because I just ate half a container (yes, container) of gummy bears and it’s altered my brain chemistry. But mostly I think it’s because I kinda miss writing about the random stuff you can write about when you have a personal blog. I don’t even think there should be a theme, unless utter random nonsense can be considered a theme.
So on that note, today I’m going to write about a horrible, horrible, horrible movie I saw last night called “Good Luck Chuck.” I realized when the movie started and Dane Cook was the lead that it would probably be really horribly horrible, but still, I held onto the hope that it might be at least mildly entertaining and watchable, you know, in a stupid kind of way. But I was wrong because while it was indeed stupid, it was neither entertaining nor watchable.
Without elaborating on why I hated it so much, I’m going to focus instead on a growing problem (at least in my opinion) that isn’t being addressed: WHY DO COMEDY’S SUCK SO MUCH THESE DAYS?
There are, of course, exceptions.
But in general, every time I feel like watching something a little more light-hearted and that doesn’t have to do with death or war or massive government conspiracies or outer space, I turn to the comedy section aka the romantic comedy section aka rom-com’s. And I am usually disappointed. I’m not looking to rom-com’s to provide me with the meaning of life or even make me want to contemplate the meaning of life. I know going in that they are a little on the dumb side, but they’re cute and funny and sweet and when you’re finished watching them you’re supposed to feel good and warm inside like you just ate some really delicious soup.
In the closing credits of “Good Luck Chuck,” without giving too much of the plot away, there is a scene where Chuck’s best friend (who’s character, had the movie been good, would have ruined the entire film) is house-sitting while Chuck and his girlfriend are away. He’s sitting on the bed with his topless girlfriend who has three breasts (Note: he is a cosmetic surgeon who, of course, focuses his energies on giving women breast implants. Apparently a women with three breasts has blown his mind and obviously he has instantly fallen in love with her and proposed to her. Also note that this information, when revealed in the movie, is completely useless and pointless and does nothing to further the plot or make any kind of point whatsoever. Basically, I’m pretty sure they just wanted to have a scene where a woman had three breasts.) and they are watching homemade porn that Chuck and Jessica Alba (I thought she was better than this for some reason) have made. She works with penguins and is obsessed with them, blah blah blah. Anyway, we watched in horror as Chuck aka Dane Cook simulated sexual acts with a stuffed animal penguin and Jessica Alba, in a fake sexy voice, provided the penguin’s dialogue off-screen (ie. “yeah that’s good, you know what I like…” etc.)
This didn’t make me feel warm and good inside like I had just eaten really delicious soup.
I think the thing that I can’t stand about this new breed of romantic comedy’s (see also “The Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Stiller which I just recently saw as well) is that it’s just all about shocking the audience with how raunchy and disgusting and perverted they can be, and to be quite honest, I am really growing tired of this kind of comedy. Can we please try something even mildly intelligent or witty for a change? I mean, I know when people fall or something hits them in the face or they get a stain on their pants in the crotch area it’s funny, but there’s only so much of these gags I can take in one film. I was under the impression rom-com’s were for mostly marketed towards straight women, and I suppose secretly guys as well (because who doesn’t like a feel good comedy, come on now. I saw you wipe away a little tear there at the end, tough guy.) But do other women even like this crap? I mean, does seeing Dane Cook having sex with hundreds of women on the screen at once ala The Brady Bunch split-screen really appeal to anyone? Anyone at all? Woman or man for that matter?
Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on in Hollywood but there is clearly something amiss. Me and the BF discussed it last night and came to the conclusion that’s it’s probably a lot easier these days to make movies, therefore, a lot of bad movies are being made just because they can potentially make money. Even if they suck so bad that your dog could have made a more interesting film if you strapped a video camera to the top of his head and ran around the park chasing a ball and smelling other dogs bums.
If you have a movie that’s supposed to be a rom-com straight girls will want to see it, and they will drag their boyfriends along, who will want to see it because Jessica Alba’s in it and for about .2 seconds of screen time she is pantless. Instant cash. Regardless of whether or not there is any actual content worth seeing in the first place. Sometimes I think these famous people and hollywood types must be laughing all the way to the bank. I mean, if you’re involved in the making of one of these films, you can’t actually have convinced yourself that you’re doing anything meaningful but participating in a cash grab. Right?
It’s sad and depressing, but sadder and depressing-er still is the fact that I keep watching these films, hoping that somehow I’ll find the gem amongst all the, well, crap. I’m still waiting and I like to laugh. If you have any recommendations for me, please pass them on.
In the meantime: Jack Black: Looooove. Bonus: John Cusack: Cuuuute:
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February 24, 2008 at 4:44 pm
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